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В журнале Vanity Fair была опубликова часть сценария Ублюков. Даю оригинал, а потом рукодельный перевод )))

The spelleheck-defying Inglorious Basterds, premiering this month in Cannes, has been described as Pulp Fiction meets The Dirty Dozen meets The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, set in Nazi-occupied France. It's the latest from QUENTIN TARANTINO, who provides an exelusive scene from his script, while photographer Brigitte Lacombe invades the set


Ext. Dairy farm - day
The modest dairy farm in the countryside of Nancy, France (what the French call cow country). We read a SUBTITLE in the sky above the farmhouse:
Chapter One
"Once upon a time... In Nazi-occupied France"
This SUBTITLE disappears, and is replaced by another one:
"1941... One year into the German occupation of France"
The farm consists of a house, small barn, and 12 cows spread about. The owner of the property, a bull of a man, FRENCH FARMER, brings an ax up and down on a tree stump blemishing his property. However, simply by sight, you'd never know if he's been beating at this stump for the last year, or just started today. JULIE, one of his three pretty teenage daughters, is hanging up a white bedsheet, she hears a noise. Moving the sheet aside she sees (from her P.O.V) a Nazi town-car convertible, with two little Nazi flags attached to the hood, a NAZI SOLDIER behind the wheel, and a NAZI OFFICER alone in the backseat, following two other NAZI SOLDIERS on motorcycles, coming up over the hill on the country road leading to their farm.



The FRENCH FARMER sinks his ax into the stump, looks over his shoulder, and sees the Germans approaching. The farmer's wife, CHARLOTTE, comes to the doorway of their home, followed by her two other TEENAGE DAUGHTERS, and sees the Germans approaching. The farmer yells to his family in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:
Go back inside and shut the door (To Julie.) Julie, get me some water from the pump to wash up with, then get inside with your mother.
The young lady runs to the water pump by the house. She picks up the basin and begins pumping. After a few pumps, water comes out splashing into the basin. The French farmer sits down on the stump he was previously chopping away at, pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, wipes sweat from his face, and waits for the Nazi convoy to arrive. After living for a year with the Sword of Damocles suspended over his head, this may very well be the end. Julie finishes filling the water basin and places it on the windowsill.


Ready, Pappa.

Thank you, darling. Now go inside and take care of your mother. Don't run.

Julie walks inside the farmhouse and closes the door behind her. As her father stands up from his stump and moves over to the windowsill with the water basin... the SOUND of the ENGINES of the two motorcycles and car gets LOUDER. The farmer SPLASHES water from the basin on his face and down his front. He takes a towel off a nail and wipes the excess water from his face and chest, as he watches the two motorcycles, the one automobile, and the four representatives of the National Socialist Party come to a halt on his property. We don't move into them, but keep observing from a distance, like the farmer. The TWO NAZI MOTORCYCLISTS are off their bikes and standing at attention next to them. THE NAZI DRIVER has walked around the automobile and opened the door for his superior. The NAZI OFFICER says to the driver in UNSUBTITLED GERMAN:

This is property of Perrier LaPadite?

Yes, Herr Colonel.

The Nazi officer climbs out of the backseat of the vehicle, carrying in his left hand a black leather attache case.

Hernan, until I summon you, I am to be left alone.

As you wish, Herr Colonel.

The SS colonel yells to the farmer in FRENCH, SUBTITLED IN ENGLISH:

Is this property of Perrier LaPadite?

I am Perrier LaPadite.

The SS colonel crosses the distance between them with long strides, and says in French with a smile on his face:

It is a pleasure to meet you, Monsieur LaPadite. I am Colonel Hans Lands of the SS.

COLONEL HANS LANDA offers the French farmer, PERRIER LaPADITE, his hand. The Frenchman takes the German's hand in his and shakes it.


How may I help you?

I was hoping you could invite me inside your home and we may have a discussion.

The door to the farmhouse swings open, and the farmer gestures for the SS colonel to enter. Removing his gray SS cap, the German steps inside the Frenchman's home. Colonel Landa is immediately greeted with the sight of the farmer's wife and three pretty daughters standing together in the kitchen, smiling in his direction. The farmer enters behind him, closing the door.

Colonel Landa, this is my family.

The SS colonel clicks his heels together and takes the hand of the French farmer's wife.

Colonel Hans Landa of the SS, madame, at your service.

He kisses her hand, then continues without letting go of his hostess's hand.

Don't be ridiculous, Herr Colonel.

While still holding the French woman's hand, and looking into her eyes, the SS colonel says:

Monsieur LaPadite, the rumors I have heart in the village about your family are all true. Your wife is a beautiful woman.

His eyes leave the mother and move to the three daughters.

And each of your daughters is more lovely the last.

Merci. Please have a seat.


The farmer offers the SS colonel a seat at the family's wooden dinner table. The Nazi officer accepts the French farmer's offer and lowers himself into the chair, placing his gray SS cap on the table and keeping his black attache case on the floor by his feet. The farmer (perfect host) turns to his wife and says:

Charlotte, would you be so good as to get the colonel some wine?

Merci beaucoup, Monsieur LaPadite, but no wine. This being a dairy farm, one would be safe in assuming you have milk?


Then milk is what I prefer.

Very well.

The mother of three takes a carafe of milk out of the icebox and pours a tall glass of the fresh white liquid for the colonel. The SS colonel takes a long drink from the glass, then puts it down LOUDLY on the wooden table.

Please, join me at your table.

Very well.

The French farmer sits at his wooden dinner table across from the Nazi. The women remain standing. Colonel Landa leans forward and says to the farmer in a low tone of confidentially:

Monsieur LaPadite, what we have to discuss would be better discussed in private. You'll notice, I left me men outdoors - if if wouldn't offend them, could you ask your lovely ladies to step outside?

You are right. (To his women.) Charlotte, would you take the girls outside? The colonel and I need to have a few words.

The farmer's wife follows her husband's orders and gathers her daughters, taking them outside, closing the door behind them. The two men are alone at the farmer's dinner table, in the farmer's humble home.